Thursday, January 7, 2010

Once the shine wears off

The shine is starting to wear off, and the reality is sinking in.
If we go overseas, we are leaving everyone behind.

The last couple of days, I have been gripped by anxiety. I have become inexplicably anxious about everyday things and big things. This morning, I realized the root of my anxiety.
God, are you really going to send us? Away from everyone? Away from our home?

Because, well, maybe he won't. But maybe he will.
Maybe he will.

And what does that mean? It means Micah and Titus, my twin nephews--not even a year old yet--won't know their aunt in their everyday lives. It means that I won't be walking through a Philly street, knowing that I completely understand my language and where to get basic necessities. It means I won't see my family all the time or my best friends. It means... a lot of sacrifice.

It's a rough reality to be faced with. So as I walked to the gym, I said a little prayer.
Alright, God. I know that Elliott is pretty convinced and has received confirmation about this going-abroad thing...and I won't deny that I do indeed feel a call, or a pull, to start looking seriously into teaching in Asia. Here's the thing, though: I need confirmation, too. If this is, in fact, YOU calling us to go, please make it clear.
(And then I remembered a number of testimonies I've heard over the last few years about people asking for confirmation from the Lord in "threes," so I said:)
In three. Three confirmations.

So there I was at the gym getting on my treadmill when this guy shows up.
"What's your shirt mean?"

I stopped the treadmill, very eager for this conversation. You see, I have a shirt that says, "DECEIVED" on the front and "" on the back. It's a campaign by the International Justice Mission to help end child slavery. So I explained it.

"That's a great cause. You see, I've witnessed it first hand."
Sal (that's his name, I found out later) told me about his travels in SouthEast Asia while he was a doctor in the army. He said he saw it everywhere, people treating other people like things, like commodities.
"You know what they really need is education. Education helps people begin to see through a different worldview; you can't just treat people like they're not people. I really think it's through education that people begin to have their minds opened and can start treating others are fellow humans who have emotions and personalities...."

That's number one.
Wow. Yeah, I got that. That was fast.

Alright then. Two more to go.

On a side note, Elliott and I are gearing more towards ELIC to start out. We're looking into Laos as a first choice, and probably Cambodia as a second choice. I just submitted my application tonight. Wild.


  1. I love that you mention to have things confirmed in threes, the way that God repeats things a lot in threes in The Bible to confirm things.

    The man is right that an education gives people hope to survive.

    Have you read any of Gary Haugen's books (he is he pres. of International Justice Mission)? I read "Terrify No More" and "Good News About Injustice" (one of my favourite books ever) but still need to read "Just Courage". I think "Good News. . ." and "Just Courage" are ones that you should try to read as well. It might help. Also there is a book I've been wanting to read for two years in the Title "The Missionary Call: Find Your Place in God's Plan For the World " Perhaps you will get a chance to read it before me. It might help inspire you or spark more in your heart with what God may have in store for you two. I have already been confirmed that I am supposed to do something somewhere for the sake of Christ, more than being a youth leader, and so that's why I have been wanting to read that missionary call book.

  2. No, I haven't read those books yet. I have two I am reading through right now, "The Heavenly Man" and one about teaching overseas as a Christian by a women who spoke at Urbana. I will have to reference this post when I have my next break from school so I can read those other books as well. Elliott is currently reading a book by the president of World Vision.

    Does Rob feel a calling as well? I think you are doing a great deal right now for the sake of Christ--for the youth, for your children, and for the children who don't have a voice--the children who have been forced into slavery. Don't downplay your role, my dear. You are doing and have done quite a bit already.

  3. I don't think Rob has felt called at all. He thinks too much about what he wants to do instead of what God wants him to do.

  4. I don't think Rob has felt called at all. He thinks too much about what he wants to do instead of what God wants him to do.


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