Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Wandering the Wilderness with the Lord

I sat in meditation. Just listening. Closing my eyes and focusing on the One True God. I thought about life, and offered the whisper of a prayer about our future. I thought of the many possibilities facing Elliott and me. Each possibility certainly brings me a peace... a peace that only comes when you know you are exactly where God wants you.

Right now, it has been made clear that God wants us exactly where we are. But where is that, exactly? Where are we?

As I sat there praying, a vivid picture came swiftly in and out of my mind. It was me, wandering through the desert—the desert of the Israelites. I have often thought about how maddening and frustrating it must have been to be wandering in that desert for so long. In this particular moment of clarity, Jesus showed me that I have been wandering like the Israelites. All my life, I have been wandering from this to that with no clear understanding. Though sometimes I did not follow God through the wilderness, many times I have followed him.

I followed God out of graduate school, and then into the corporate world. But I was floundering and wandering about in that realm. So I followed God out of the corporate world and into another graduate program and into a retail job. And though I do feel at peace with where I am, a part of me feels that it’s just another step along the way. The way things are going right now, I don’t know how I will use this degree I am attaining, or, quite honestly, if I will finish. I have a tendency to start things and not finish them, but I also have been really relying on the Lord’s direction.

But the thing is, I’m not anywhere in particular yet. I am still wandering. I haven’t reached the right “land” yet. It’s not like I’m wandering in the desert without the Lord—no, he is very near and present in this journey. I have a feeling that God is bringing me (and Elliott) to a specific destination of some kind. I wonder if I will have another picture, maybe a year or two in the future (or five or six) of myself in this same desert, but arriving someplace.

I am comforted by this picture. It's like God is letting me know that he knows what’s going on. Indeed, I do feel a bit lost at times and still feel like the winds could change; at any moment, I may be swept up in a slightly different direction. But God is letting me know that he is in control.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9

7 comments:

  1. I am glad that you know you belong here currently. I am sure that was comforting to receive that answer since you were anxious and waiting on Him for answers.

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  2. There is a sense in which we are always wandering, and that helps our faith to grow. We will not arrive completely in this life. We are aliens and strangers in this world. But then again I think your speaking about a vocation. He always has you were he wants you for a specific reason to be doing now what your doing and doing that well in him, but then also preparing you for future service which at that time he will continue preparing you again for the future and ultimately for all eternity with him where we will enter his rest (HEb. 3-4)

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  3. I feel like we'll never completely "arrive" in this life. I'm learning that each stage is another step in the journey rather than an arrival. (or maybe I'm just really lost!) Looking forward to my final arrival one day! However, I think there are moments God gives us where we get that "aha" moment of realizing that much of what He brought us through was for a certain purpose, that He was preparing us for a particular experience or situation.

    Also, I wrote a response to your earlier entry, and lost it somehow. I really, really appreciate the questions you're asking. Please keep asking them and jarring the rest of us (me) out of our pat answers and drift toward complacency. And I have some clothes, let me know when I should gather them!

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  4. Thank you; I appreciate your support. I am currently working on one but life has been a little hectic lately (a LOT more schoolwork) so I haven't had the chance to sit down and write.

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  5. Thank you; I appreciate your support. I am currently working on one but life has been a little hectic lately (a LOT more schoolwork) so I haven't had the chance to sit down and write.

    ReplyDelete
  6. There is a sense in which we are always wandering, and that helps our faith to grow. We will not arrive completely in this life. We are aliens and strangers in this world. But then again I think your speaking about a vocation. He always has you were he wants you for a specific reason to be doing now what your doing and doing that well in him, but then also preparing you for future service which at that time he will continue preparing you again for the future and ultimately for all eternity with him where we will enter his rest (HEb. 3-4)

    ReplyDelete

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