Thursday, April 22, 2010

Putting to sleep the ugliness

Last night, my true ugliness came out.
It was the type of ugliness that only the closest person in the world to you sees, if anyone sees it at all. In this case, my husband.
It was a self-indulgent, sinful ugliness that came spewing out of me and my despair. I allowed myself to buy into my wretchedness as a person without taking into consideration the grace of God.
Thank God for my husband's love, and patience.
Thank God for his Grace.

This morning was like being reborn to the world. I went to sleep in the tarry-black of the night--thick with devastation and tears and anxiety. I awoke into streams of light beckoning my eyelids open, whispering promises of forgiveness. A new day.

The old has gone, the new has come.
2 Corinthians 5:17

2 comments:

  1. aww. that is so good that you can admit this! I am sure you worked things out and talked it out calmly after you realized what was going on with yourself, right?

    ReplyDelete
  2. <3

    and, in the words of Paul's letter to the galatians (6:15):

    "all that matters is a new creation!"
    (exclamation point mine)

    may we let the weight and authority of the new creation in us be loosed; may we grant it the power it has!

    ReplyDelete

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