What a whirlwind these last two weeks have been -- what a journey of learning and back-tracking, re-learning, and - oh, the constant, constant praying.
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name.
I started out thinking that my heart was in a good place for this support-raising-business. Sending out the well-written, honest newsletter? Check. Calling up to set up face-to-face appeals? Check. Praying for our supporters? Check. Putting my trust in the Lord? Check - or, wait. I have take that back. Because my trust has been challenged, my distrust has been unveiled, and my humbling prayers for help have been re-made again and again.
Give us this day our daily bread.
This has been my new prayer. The amount we need to raise each month seems impossible for me. And it is -- praise the Lord!
What I've learned is that sometimes my guise is trusting the Lord, but I'm really trusting a person. I have started some days in crushing disappointment because someone we thought would be a main supporter decided not to meet with us - not to support us - not even to sit and converse with us. Then the Lord reminds me, I see I was resting my security in the person, not the Godhead - in the mammon, not the Holy.
The money has not come in the way I expected. But this is good, friends, because the Lord is teaching me much, much more about my relationship to Him.
And I am learning to take each day one breath at a time.
Each meal at a time.
Each penny at a time.
I have no idea in what creative way the Lord will decide to provide for us in this period of our lives, but I'll tell you -
it's going to be amazingly and poignantly awesome.