I started out thinking that my heart was in a good place for this support-raising-business. Sending out the well-written, honest newsletter? Check. Calling up to set up face-to-face appeals? Check. Praying for our supporters? Check. Putting my trust in the Lord? Check - or, wait. I have take that back. Because my trust has been challenged, my distrust has been unveiled, and my humbling prayers for help have been re-made again and again.
This has been my new prayer. The amount we need to raise each month seems impossible for me. And it is -- praise the Lord!
What I've learned is that sometimes my guise is trusting the Lord, but I'm really trusting a person. I have started some days in crushing disappointment because someone we thought would be a main supporter decided not to meet with us - not to support us - not even to sit and converse with us. Then the Lord reminds me, I see I was resting my security in the person, not the Godhead - in the mammon, not the Holy.
The money has not come in the way I expected. But this is good, friends, because the Lord is teaching me much, much more about my relationship to Him.
And I am learning to take each day one breath at a time.
Each meal at a time.
Each penny at a time.
I have no idea in what creative way the Lord will decide to provide for us in this period of our lives, but I'll tell you -