It has been a crazy battle with my brain. For the last ten years (yes, ten years - yikes!) I have gone between a steady diet of unsweetened tea and sugarfree gum to meal bars to sort-of-having-a-normal-diet-but-not to excessive exercise to having a semi-normal diet to cleanses to overeating-after-weeks-of-not-eating to having a super-duper-healthy diet to... well, you get the picture.
So where am I now?
I am in a place of renouncing the lies for what they are: dirty, godless, self-consuming, destructive lies.
Lies: I'm done with you.
And you know what? My God is bigger than you.
It has only been through the last year -- through being pregnant -- that I have been able to let go of the lies. Through pregnancy, God has revealed again and again that I am (thank goodness) not in control, and furthermore, that I don't (thank goodness) need to be in control. And as I care for my little daughter day-by-day, I realize that it's not worth the energy to continue to try to be a certain size... because, well, I have a lot of better things to do with my time.
I'm not forsaking being healthy, as I find a lot of joy from taking care of this earthly body. I love healthy things and I love exercising (and pushing my limits). That's just a part of who I am. And I encourage others to live healthy lives too.
But I'm done wasting energy.
I'm done consuming garbage.
I'm all about actually living.
'Cause hey. Life is short.
I want to make good use of my time.
And to continue to fill my brain with reality, I'm putting this above my mirror:
These are all Olympic athletes.