Thursday, September 22, 2011

regarding body image: sayonara, lies!

If you've known me -- like really known me -- for a good amount of time, you will undoubtedly know that I have struggled deeply with my body image.

It has been a crazy battle with my brain.  For the last ten years (yes, ten years - yikes!) I have gone between a steady diet of unsweetened tea and sugarfree gum to meal bars to sort-of-having-a-normal-diet-but-not to excessive exercise to having a semi-normal diet to cleanses to overeating-after-weeks-of-not-eating to having a super-duper-healthy diet to... well, you get the picture.

So where am I now?

I am in a place of renouncing the lies for what they are: dirty, godless, self-consuming, destructive lies.

Lies: I'm done with you.

And you know what?  My God is bigger than you.

It has only been through the last year -- through being pregnant -- that I have been able to let go of the lies.  Through pregnancy, God has revealed again and again that I am (thank goodness) not in control, and furthermore, that I don't (thank goodness) need to be in control.  And as I care for my little daughter day-by-day, I realize that it's not worth the energy to continue to try to be a certain size... because, well, I have a lot of better things to do with my time.

I'm not forsaking being healthy, as I find a lot of joy from taking care of this earthly body.  I love healthy things and I love exercising (and pushing my limits).  That's just a part of who I am.  And I encourage others to live healthy lives too.

But I'm done wasting energy.
I'm done consuming garbage.
I'm all about actually living.

'Cause hey.  Life is short.
I want to make good use of my time.

And to continue to fill my brain with reality, I'm putting this above my mirror:

These are all Olympic athletes.
Rock on.

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