Monday, October 3, 2011

where God finds me (and how He breaks my bad habits)

I have never been particularly "good" about setting aside quiet time with God.  I've always been somewhat strangely addicted to a crazy-busy lifestyle, while at the same time hating it.  But even when I hated it, I found myself going back for more -- saying YES to more things to do, adding more things to my personal schedule, and rushing around like a chicken with -- well, you get the point.

Yet right before the baby was born, the year was spent concentrating on the discipline of daily time with God.  I wanted it to become a habit.  And it did.

A couple of months into motherhood, most of my habits were out the door.  As a new mom, I could barely remember if I showered or ate (and this coming from the girl who used to get up at five every morning to exercise and ate six small meals a day at the same time every day.  I am dedicated to schedule.)  As for a daily quiet time with God, I tried to do it in the morning with babygirl, but I became easily distracted.  And then when her feedings went from a lazy 45 minutes to a rushed 10 minutes, I felt completely at a loss.

So I did the only thing I know how to do when I feel completely helpless: I prayed.
And prayed.
And prayed.
I just asked God to help me -- to carve out time for us -- to help me know Him better.

It was just the other night when I realized with what creativity God answered that prayer!

Shortly after putting Gwennypie to bed, I tend to stay in the room for at least 20 minutes in case she wakes up.  I know not everyone agrees with this style of putting-baby-to-bed, but I really relish those 20 minutes, and find myself just being in God's presence.  It comes naturally, since the last thing we do with Gwendolyn is pray and then say The Lord's Prayer.  I am already in communication with Him, and we just sit together.  It's the most peaceful time I've ever had with the Lord.  Ever.  In my life.  And it's one of the greatest gifts He's ever given to this busy-minded-heart of mine.

And as for reading the Word, somehow that got worked in too.  Since I can't break my exercise habit (even with lack of sleep -- I sit around too much of the day, I need to get some running in), I find I have a half hour before babygirl wakes up.  As I munch on my breakfast, I read the Word.  So I guess you might say I have two quiet times per day now.

I am thankful for the way He answers prayer.
I am thankful that He communes with us.
I am thankful that He has never given up on me and my bad habits.

So He has found me where I did not expect to be found -- in a somewhat mundane (but treasured) routine of putting my own child to bed.  And before I go to bed for the night, God meets me in the quiet stillness.

(Hey friends -- an update on the move will be up soon.  We just got internet and we're attempting to settle in.  So if this week seems a bit dodgy on the posting, give me some time to get my bearings again.)

(Oh, and have you subscribed/followed this blog yet?  You should do that! :)  Subscribe on the left of this page, and follow on the top of the page to the left.)

(Isn't it funny how many things you forget to pick up when starting over in a new home?  Elliott went to make coffee today before realizing we had no coffee filters.  I almost went over to our neighbor's house to ask for some, but it was still too early yet.  And we also forgot to get salt, and I realized this too late before starting to make hummus.  Have you ever tried to season hummus with chicken stock?  Very interesting.)

(Um.  No more thoughts.  That's it!  Leave me a comment!)

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