Thursday, November 3, 2011

No-motivation-ember

I am nothing if not honest on this blog.
So as I mulled over different topics in my head to write about, I just came back to this one reality:  this week.  And my inability to care about...much.

I can't explain it.  Maybe it was the unexpected snow and cold, or facing the brutal fact that I need to actually start writing my final paper for my master's program, or a baby who suddenly wants to eat solid food and is fussing around the clock, or... something else?  Maybe it's the overwhelmed-feeling that creeps up on me and paralyzes my brain.  Whatever the culprit truly is, the reality is that this week, I feel incredibly unmotivated.

Even as I write these words, all I want to do is stop.
All I want to do is stay in my pajamas all day, drink chai, and watch old movies.

But I don't do that.
Well, ok, I do drink excessive amounts of chai, but each day, I find myself dressed and (usually) venturing outdoors, not to mention getting the chores done around the house.

But it almost feels like I'm getting nothing done because internally, I don't want to.
Does that make sense?
Do you know how I feel?


(I know this picture looks posed, but it totally wasn't.  Isn't that strange?  Or rather, aren't I strange?)

I'm not depressed, just unmotivated.  There's a difference.  It must be November.  It has that "NO" at the very beginning of the word, you know?  How can a month that starts with the word "NO" be a motivator?  It's as if as soon as you make a mark on your calendar to do something, you see the word "NO" and think, "Oh, okay.  I guess I just won't."


I apologize for the lack of poignancy of this post; I just wanted to get something out today -- in hopes that maybe through writing, even a little bit, I might re-inspire myself to keep going.


But I don't wanna be a (Debbie) downer, so to end on a happy note, here are some other things that happened this week:
Pixie Halloween!


(Insider note: I called Gwendolyn "Pixie" when she was inside the womb because she had a pixie's nose.  Now that she's out, she looks even more like a pixie to me!)

First Bites!


Nom Nom Nom.

She ate like a PRO.  I totally wanted to wait until 6 months, but this 4 1/2 month old eats solid foods like she's been doing it for YEARS.  Yes, I know that doesn't make sense.  

Favorite Pastime:  The Library!


We try to go once a week or so.  Gwendolyn is an avid reader.  Although sometimes I wonder if WE enjoy the library books a little bit more than she does. :)


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