So as I mulled over different topics in my head to write about, I just came back to this one reality: this week. And my inability to care about...much.
I can't explain it. Maybe it was the unexpected snow and cold, or facing the brutal fact that I need to actually start writing my final paper for my master's program, or a baby who suddenly wants to eat solid food and is fussing around the clock, or... something else? Maybe it's the overwhelmed-feeling that creeps up on me and paralyzes my brain. Whatever the culprit truly is, the reality is that this week, I feel incredibly unmotivated.
Even as I write these words, all I want to do is stop.
All I want to do is stay in my pajamas all day, drink chai, and watch old movies.
But I don't do that.
Well, ok, I do drink excessive amounts of chai, but each day, I find myself dressed and (usually) venturing outdoors, not to mention getting the chores done around the house.
But it almost feels like I'm getting nothing done because internally, I don't want to.
Does that make sense?
Do you know how I feel?
(I know this picture looks posed, but it totally wasn't. Isn't that strange? Or rather, aren't I strange?)
I'm not depressed, just unmotivated. There's a difference. It must be November. It has that "NO" at the very beginning of the word, you know? How can a month that starts with the word "NO" be a motivator? It's as if as soon as you make a mark on your calendar to do something, you see the word "NO" and think, "Oh, okay. I guess I just won't."
I apologize for the lack of poignancy of this post; I just wanted to get something out today -- in hopes that maybe through writing, even a little bit, I might re-inspire myself to keep going.
But I don't wanna be a (Debbie) downer, so to end on a happy note, here are some other things that happened this week:
(Insider note: I called Gwendolyn "Pixie" when she was inside the womb because she had a pixie's nose. Now that she's out, she looks even more like a pixie to me!)
Nom Nom Nom.
She ate like a PRO. I totally wanted to wait until 6 months, but this 4 1/2 month old eats solid foods like she's been doing it for YEARS. Yes, I know that doesn't make sense.
Favorite Pastime: The Library!
We try to go once a week or so. Gwendolyn is an avid reader. Although sometimes I wonder if WE enjoy the library books a little bit more than she does. :)