My husband is currently applying for seminary.
It's an interesting process -- one littered with questions of How? and When? and Are We Sure?
And no matter which way we slice it, we cannot fit the pieces of the puzzle together. I feel like maybe we're just missing pieces right now -- that we don't have them all within our grasp -- and sometimes just have to walk away from the bigger picture while we remain faithful to to smaller bits.
I've written before about my own discernment process in becoming a pastor's wife. But that's not the full story. The call to pastoral ministry was first laid on my heart. It caught me off guard sitting in church one day. Suddenly, God brought it into my mind with such a peace. In my mind, I saw my husband preaching, and I heard a word in my heart: Yes. From then on, I knew Elliott had to pursue it.
The past year, we have wrestled with knowing whether or not it is the right call to pursue -- after all, there are so many ways we could go -- but a few weeks ago, I just knew that the wrestling was over. God didn't want to wrestle with us in the matter any more -- we were the ones continuing the fight. And with this realization came a second peace -- a second Yes. Yes, we are on the right track. We have to move forward. And even though it's hard -- even though it will undoubtedly be harder later on -- it's the right thing to do.
It might be next year. It might be in ten years. But whenever it begins and however long it takes, I know it's where God wants us to go. And go we must.
(to be continued tomorrow...)