Thursday, September 6, 2012

even now: the little baby inside me

It's unmistakable now.

The little flips and flurries inside me tell me this baby is already different than its big sister.  Even now, merely 15 weeks in, and I sense its own personality coming through.

With Gwen, they were little flutters -- like a butterfly, or a pixie, as we ended up calling her throughout the pregnancy (and even to this day).  And when she emerged, she was indeed a little pixie -- with her elvish looks and prancing energy, flitting from here to there with little giggles.

With this baby, the movements are more like distinct flips.  Sometimes I feel as though Baby is on a roller coaster in my belly.  What will this little one be, I wonder?  When it is a year old, will I be looking back and remembering these little movements and seeing the connection -- the way I do with its big sister?

And when I feel these indications of life inside me, I stop.  I almost hate to breathe because I don't want to miss it.  Of course, give it another 15 weeks and I'll be begging the baby to get its foot out of my ribs.

But I never tire of this -- the first little movements of a forming, growing baby.

And I also never tired of this --

"For you formed my inward parts,
you knitted me together is my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works,
my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there were none of them."

Psalm 139:13-16

Even now, every day has been formed.
Even now, you are not hidden completely. 
There is One who sees you
and knows you
and loves you more than I know how.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made, even now.
And I cannot help but praise the Lord because of your existence.
  • When was the first moment you realized your children's personalities were very different?

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