Sunday, February 10, 2013

to my birdie: celebrating the life of my baby-to-be

She's waving hello!

Dear Birdie,

Today in church I felt you dancing to the music and suddenly was overcome by the intense desire to hold you -- not in my belly but in my arms.  I turned to your father and said, "I just want to hold my baby," and he smiled, held me close, and said, "I can't wait to meet her."

And it's about that time when we just have no idea when you will arrive.  It's surreal to acknowledge the fact that within the next month, you will actually be with us -- you, the little baby we barely knew when we found out about your existence on June 21, your Big Sister's first birthday.

But you have made your existence known.  And although we still do not know what you will look like or how you will grow, we have been getting to know your personality -- with each kick and roll and bizarre food craving. 

These are some things that we are celebrating -- in getting to know you and in preparing our lives for your arrival and in wondering who you will someday be.
  • The way you poke me and constantly move as if to say, "I know you've already got a life but don't forget that I am already a part of it!"
  • The way you poke daddy back when he's trying to find you.
  • Your taste in foods that are oh-so-different than Gwendolyn's.
  • The way we are praying for you every day -- thanking the Lord for your life and asking that He bless you and Gwenny with a solid, beautiful, sister relationship.
  •  The unknown -- yes, we are celebrating the unknown -- in what you will be like, in who you will look like, and in a million other ways.
  • Waiting expectantly for that glorious moment when we finally see you, and wondering if you will stare back at us with the familiar-Gwendolyn eyes or with eyes all your own.
  • Remembering the first time I saw your little body inside me -- and the way you took my breath away as you wiggled around with all your limbs and fingers and toes perfectly in place.
  • Excited that you will meet a sister who already adores you and is ready to smother you in love.
  • Changing our rooms around to make room for you, and every day looking around the house and realizing, "This is for Birdie."
  • Readying myself to cuddle and sleep next to a little baby.
  • Getting your clothes ready, and choking up at the thought that soon your little newborn body will fill them.
  • Looking forward to the day when we think, "What was life like without her?" and barely remembering the answer.
We are ready for you, little girl -- as much as we can be.  I am sure you will interrupt our lives in unexpected-yet-glorious ways, and I cannot wait to find out how.

Love,
Your Mommy

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