Sunday, March 3, 2013

why we don't reveal our children's names before they're born

Image by piccalilli days on flickr.

It's not because we're smug.
It's not because we think you're sitting there, biting your fingernails, on the edge of your seat, waiting for the Facebook announcement.
It's not even because we're introverted.

The reason we don't reveal our children's names before they're born is thus:

As much as we love you, we don't want to hear your opinion.

(Disclaimer: this probably sounds harsher than I mean it to sound.)
(Please don't take offense.)

When we started shooting names around with the first pregnancy, I was a little taken aback by all the opinions people held about names that we were actually considering to name our daughter.

"Ugggh, don't name her THAT."
"I knew a girl once with that name and she was awful."
"Isn't that a boy's name?"
"Oh... that's............interesting..."

I quickly came to the conclusion that once you name the baby -- after the baby is born and it has an official name -- people are much less likely to comment on how they don't like it or think it's strange.  I didn't want to be swayed by the opinions of other people; I wanted the naming of the baby to be between me, Elliott, and God.  

Another thing is that, as much as ultrasounds are accurate, there is always the possibility that the technician was mistaken.  I've known people and heard enough stories of, "We thought he was going to be a girl, had the whole nursery done in pink, and then he came out a boy!"  So I don't want people to call the baby a name, only to find out it's a completely different person.

And Elliott also brings up the "all or nothing" aspect.  If we were going to share the name with a few select people, we sort of feel like we'd have to share it with everyone -- or at least, that it would slip out.  We'd rather just keep it to ourselves.

I think a part of us also likes the "reveal" and "surprise" aspect of it too, but that's not the main reason.

A lot of people don't share this opinion, and I totally understand where they are coming from.  Many people like to call the baby by name, and to have others start calling the baby by name before it comes.  That makes total sense.  It's just not us.

And that's... that, I suppose.

And yes, we're still waiting on Birdie to arrive.  Waiting and waiting and waiting.

(Incidentally, we just asked Gwendolyn what she'd like to name her sister, and she said, "Sister...the Panda.")
  • What is your view on sharing/not sharing the baby's name before its born?
  • What did you decide to do, and why?

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