Saturday, July 13, 2013

am I the only one?

Am I the only one
who
is wearied by the day
at
the mere 7 AM hour
with
coffee in my body
and
only one child awake and out?

Am I the only one?

Am I the only one
who
is shaken by the mommy-anger
and
filled with the mommy-guilt
from
the mommy-anger I never knew I felt?

Am I the only one?

Am I the only one
who
struggles to find their worth
yet
at the same time finds motivations
are
mainly self-absorbed?

Am I the only one?

Am I the only one
who
wrestles with the fact
that
there are dozens of my friends
suffering
at any given moment?

And am I the only one
who
feels this suffering so deeply
that
it's hard to get through each day
knowing
there's nothing I can do to help?

Am I the only one
who
can't seem to shake the sense
that
maybe God isn't listening
as much
as I originally thought?

Am I the only one
who
feels burdened with a Faith
that
doesn't always make sense
but makes complete sense at once

and

who struggles to explain
why I still feel the pain
why every day is just a strain
but I know I can't complain

and

sometimes





I just don't get it.





Am I the only one
who feels she fails
not only every single day
but every single moment?

Am I the only one
who
feels insignificantly so small
who
is stuck against a wall
who
doesn't understand
why
He would choose to hold my hand
at all?

Am I the only one?
Am I the only one?
Am I the only one?


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